A time to give thanks!
Every year we gather with friends, family or whoever is tending bar at your local watering hole and give thanks for all that we have. We sit around the Thanksgiving table hoping the bird isn’t dry and that the stuffing is moist.
Everyone has different Thanksgiving fantasies, memories and traditions. But usually it’s a bunch of people eating food, drinking booze and watching football. So whether you’re a dark meat over white meat guy, stuffing over mashed potatoes guy or Brooklyn Decker over Mila Kunis guy, we can all agree on one thing … You can’t spell Thanksgiving without Thanks.
If you’re Tom Brady you have a lot to be thankful for. If you’re Charlie Batch, not so much, unless being third in line to be inactive is your thang? Ashton Kutcher should devote the entire MONTH to giving thanks. Hope Solo on the other hand? Matt Cassel should thank Tom Brady every Thanksgiving and Josh McDaniels every single day! You can bet Erik Spoelstra gives thanks. Donnie Osmond thanks Marie every year for carrying him for so long. And I’m pretty sure Dane Cook, David Tyree, Andy Roddick, anybody not spending turkey day with their in-laws, Dinah Lohan and Barry Bonds are thankful as well.
Bottom line, we all have something to be thankful for unless you’re Cooper Manning — then you’re allowed to be bitter. So here’s a list of the top ten things you should be thankful for this year.
Be thankful that:
10. After committing to play football at University of Colorado and the horrible 1-10 Buffalos, at least the state legalized marijuana.
9. You were smart enough to carry a backup tight end to replace GRONK on your fantasy team.
8. Your MLB team isn’t the one that has five more years of Alex Rodriguez at $20 mil a year.
7. You didn’t listen to your buddy last Thanksgiving eve when he said, “Hey let’s get matching CHIEFS tattoos on our lower backs!”
6. You stocked up on Twinkies before “The Crash.”
5. You finally caught up on “Breaking Bad” and now you can re-join society after three weeks of Netflix.
4. You pre-ordered “Assassin’s Creed 3.”
3. Danica Patrick’s getting a divorce and you know where she lives.
2. You’re not an NHL fan.
1. Rob and Rex Ryan’s mother didn’t have triplets.