Spring training is here and baseball is in the air. Just not for me, I’m still hung up on the football season and the idea of waiting five months for training camp is numbing. So, I imagined up football in place of baseball.
I know technically baseball is America’s pastime, but I think that time has passed.
There are 15 baseball games a night for six months, we get it! Innings? What’s an inning? It’s an increment of playing time that could potentially last FOREVER! And sometimes they do. A DH? That would be like some NFL teams would kickoff and others would just get the ball at the 40 yard line every time. Fair? Nah! Football is America’s pastime and here are the top headlines from spring training if baseball were really football.
- New Baltimore third base coach Ray Lewis was hot on the head today with a line drive. No serious injury occurred from the hit and Lewis was quoted as saying, “Praise the Lord” and then began crying recounting last year’s World Series win.
- During their first spring training game, Giants head coach Jim Harbaugh slapped Tigers coach Jim Leyland so hard on the back that Leyland was knocked to the ground and didn’t get up for what seemed like a Red Sox vs. Yankees eighth inning (Two hours).
- Red Sox starting pitcher Tom Brady showed why he’s the most competitive guy in the league when he beaned three of his own teammates in an intrasquad scrimmage. Asked why he did it Brady responded, “They were crowding the plate”. Sox skipper Bill Belichick had no comment.
- Phillies star Michael Vick comes to spring training to start anew after leading the league in errors last year.
- News out of Mets camp about their shortstop Darrelle Revis is that he will not be traded, although rumors continue to swirl.
- Twins speedy outfielder Adrian Peterson arrived to camp Wednesday and hasn’t stopped running for four days.
- Despite only pitching in eight games last year Mets starting pitcher Tim Tebow continues to be one of the leagues most popular players.
- Despite a new coach, the Kansas City Royals have little hope to rebuild after the worst record in the league last year. At least they have a water fountain!
- Baseball has changed one of it’s oldest rules this year and are allowing kickers to participate in spring training. Although, they will stay in different living quarters than the real players.